deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Princess & The Painter
The moon's cheeks flushed pink that night as she shrunk away
whispering our secret to stars who rolled their twinkles like they never cared.
Even the latch clicked quietly as I crept in, content to wander
but thunder-eyed under the hush of his soft wood curve and coloured world
the ocean blowing kisses past curtains that playfully threatened to offer me
to white street light interrogation.
Then he scooped me up from behind, breaking that fairytale hush like I hoped he would
[for fairytales do so suffocate the better lies of living.]
He laid me, laughing, on his canvas, swept deft fingers skimming hemline
pulled it low enough to brush the hollow of my hip with his nose; and I loved
the abrasions, how he grazed each piece of summer cover over my skin so it scraped
alerting nerves, trickling anticipations.
I swirled impatiently as hot breath raised tiny follicles up the swoop of my ribcage
like airbrush strokes, and he waited - before dripping the warm colours from my chin
down my neck, tracing my navel, over mons, thighs, the streaming piece changing
from morning skies to storm-fed lightning sighs, wrecks and cataclysm casualties
then back to a sleepy, bloody sunset heavy with humidity -
he said I should see it but I don't do spoilers, and I'm only on chapter three.
whispering our secret to stars who rolled their twinkles like they never cared.
Even the latch clicked quietly as I crept in, content to wander
but thunder-eyed under the hush of his soft wood curve and coloured world
the ocean blowing kisses past curtains that playfully threatened to offer me
to white street light interrogation.
Then he scooped me up from behind, breaking that fairytale hush like I hoped he would
[for fairytales do so suffocate the better lies of living.]
He laid me, laughing, on his canvas, swept deft fingers skimming hemline
pulled it low enough to brush the hollow of my hip with his nose; and I loved
the abrasions, how he grazed each piece of summer cover over my skin so it scraped
alerting nerves, trickling anticipations.
I swirled impatiently as hot breath raised tiny follicles up the swoop of my ribcage
like airbrush strokes, and he waited - before dripping the warm colours from my chin
down my neck, tracing my navel, over mons, thighs, the streaming piece changing
from morning skies to storm-fed lightning sighs, wrecks and cataclysm casualties
then back to a sleepy, bloody sunset heavy with humidity -
he said I should see it but I don't do spoilers, and I'm only on chapter three.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 16
reading list entries 4
comments 24
reads 1385
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: The Princess & The Painter
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Aug 2012 3:31am
13th Aug 2012 7:17pm
Very expressive & nicely done, Jestalessa.
Strider :)
More chapters?
Strider :)
More chapters?
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re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
16th Aug 2012 10:52am
hey, Strider. [:
well, the lady is reading very slowly, i think, so she can cherish the happy part of the anti-fairytale she's found herself in. muchas gracias for reading. [:
well, the lady is reading very slowly, i think, so she can cherish the happy part of the anti-fairytale she's found herself in. muchas gracias for reading. [:
Re: The Princess & The Painter
13th Aug 2012 8:28pm
An Olympus mons of a piece...still havent heard you read quite looking forward to. Super hot flow and imagery,and great ending. again quite looking forward to giving proper attention to what your voice will lend
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re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
14th Aug 2012 2:18pm
re: re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
16th Aug 2012 10:53am
i could have done better on the read, but if it turned out to be enchanting, i'm stoked. [:
your comment gave me hope for this thing, so thank you muchly. [:
your comment gave me hope for this thing, so thank you muchly. [:
bravo!
Anonymous
13th Aug 2012 8:53pm
That is just awesome stuff, my friend.
I envy, each letter that you paint on a page, they are always so delicately placed and so beautifully positioned.
The mix of the hot imagery nestled between the naive of butterfly love, is just well amazing really.
Thank you so much, I shall be back to read again and again, as is usual my dear friend.
I envy, each letter that you paint on a page, they are always so delicately placed and so beautifully positioned.
The mix of the hot imagery nestled between the naive of butterfly love, is just well amazing really.
Thank you so much, I shall be back to read again and again, as is usual my dear friend.
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re: bravo!
16th Aug 2012 10:54am
aaaah, Mr Lip... but it is beautiful to have you here. [:
thank you for your kind words.
thank you for your kind words.
Re: The Princess & The Painter
14th Aug 2012 1:35am
"to stars who rolled their twinkles like they never cared"
So THAT's what stars do with twinkles! :)
So THAT's what stars do with twinkles! :)
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re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
16th Aug 2012 10:55am
yay!
i was hoping someone would like that. it was probably my favourite bit. [:
i was hoping someone would like that. it was probably my favourite bit. [:
Re: The Princess & The Painter
14th Aug 2012 4:15am
re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
16th Aug 2012 10:56am
Re: The Princess & The Painter
15th Aug 2012 8:10am
Jes.
"The moon's cheeks flushed pink that night as she shrunk away"
wonderful opener, flushed pink is a mighty image.
I am liking this side of your writing.the whole first stanza holds a litany of images that set the mood for what could be described as a brilliantly playful softly sensual and altogether clever poem.
final stanza gives us more of an insight into the narrators feelings. her realism kicks in maybe as a defense mechanism.
This one is a keeper.
"The moon's cheeks flushed pink that night as she shrunk away"
wonderful opener, flushed pink is a mighty image.
I am liking this side of your writing.the whole first stanza holds a litany of images that set the mood for what could be described as a brilliantly playful softly sensual and altogether clever poem.
final stanza gives us more of an insight into the narrators feelings. her realism kicks in maybe as a defense mechanism.
This one is a keeper.
1
re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
thank you so much for your attention to details (and the reassurance). i love getting specifics because they're so helpful to see what someone's really noticed about a spot of writing.
"defense mechanism" is straight talk. wish i'd noticed it when i was writing... could have considered myself just that bit more clever for putting it in on purpose. [:
thank you. [:
"defense mechanism" is straight talk. wish i'd noticed it when i was writing... could have considered myself just that bit more clever for putting it in on purpose. [:
thank you. [:
Re: The Princess & The Painter
15th Aug 2012 11:03am
re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
16th Aug 2012 11:00am
Re: The Princess & The Painter
i love the fleshy language because its quality its worth reading.
The twist of the ending is quite effective! From the beginning of the poem you depicted a painter, carefully painting the various beautiful parts of your person yet you chose to end this poem with the ' and I'm only on chapter three.' which is usually a reference to books. Moreover, the 'he said I should see it but I don't do spoilers,' is quite contradicting as you seem to be aware of the brush strokes and the order of their occurrence long before he asks you to take a look at it! Don't get me wrong as i don't question their order of occurrence in the poem, im merely quite fascinated by the twist of the ending and of the sudden changes of the storyline!
The twist of the ending is quite effective! From the beginning of the poem you depicted a painter, carefully painting the various beautiful parts of your person yet you chose to end this poem with the ' and I'm only on chapter three.' which is usually a reference to books. Moreover, the 'he said I should see it but I don't do spoilers,' is quite contradicting as you seem to be aware of the brush strokes and the order of their occurrence long before he asks you to take a look at it! Don't get me wrong as i don't question their order of occurrence in the poem, im merely quite fascinated by the twist of the ending and of the sudden changes of the storyline!
1
re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
you are so kind to this piece, thank you, ophie!
i was hoping that the painter could double as a writer, as he was painting their story over her body. she knew what he was doing, and she knew the ending, but she's sort of in denial on the details. she seems to think it would be overwhelming to see it all at once, and sort of feels guilty about this "secret" already.... it's pretty complicated in my mind, i guess... hope i got most of it to the page... but either way, i am delighted you dropped by and made me question my methods! as you certainly did. [:
i was hoping that the painter could double as a writer, as he was painting their story over her body. she knew what he was doing, and she knew the ending, but she's sort of in denial on the details. she seems to think it would be overwhelming to see it all at once, and sort of feels guilty about this "secret" already.... it's pretty complicated in my mind, i guess... hope i got most of it to the page... but either way, i am delighted you dropped by and made me question my methods! as you certainly did. [:
Re: The Princess & The Painter
22nd Aug 2012 4:30pm
I like the sheer passion I feel in the poem, but more importantly the contentment of the character in the poem and the expection of more to come in the life between these two..its very beautiful...your reading conveyed all that along with a playfulness entwined with a wisdom and knowing of life that is seen and deeply appreciated...:) Thanks Philip
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re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
25th Aug 2012 10:07pm
i'm ridiculously happy you could get so much out of it altogether, Philip, thank you! [:
Re: The Princess & The Painter
24th Aug 2012 6:07pm
What were chapters one and two? You have a gift for employing images. The only thing I disagree with you about are "fairytales." To me, every "fairytale," like your poem, is true.
marcella1
marcella1
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re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
this character is all about the denial, so don't be fooled by her little show of bravado. [:
edit: chapters one and two are the beginnings of this girl's relationship with her "painter". the use of "chapter three" is only meant to signify that it's still early on in their story.
thank you, marcella, as always, for casting your hopeful eyes upon this little corner of the DU. [:
edit: chapters one and two are the beginnings of this girl's relationship with her "painter". the use of "chapter three" is only meant to signify that it's still early on in their story.
thank you, marcella, as always, for casting your hopeful eyes upon this little corner of the DU. [:
Re: The Princess & The Painter
19th Dec 2012 10:35pm
Re: The Princess & The Painter
26th Oct 2014 4:30pm
so enjoy your work.to see how you work and mold the words. my jealousy...my respect. beautiful
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re: Re: The Princess & The Painter
31st Oct 2014 7:06pm
i get that kind of feeling all the time for other people's writing; but they seem to put everything perfectly natural when i seem to fumble and reach. i'm delighted you enjoyed it. thanks for reading [: