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The Girl in the Mirror
Black hair, single blonde streak-- Hair tied back.
Heavy, dark make-up covering the imperfections underneath.
Brown eyes staring at the girl that I've known all my life.
The face that looked back at me through the tears, the anger, the cutting and all of the fights.
The one that stared back at me when I became weak and just smiled and shook her head, she was disappointed in me.
When I was disappointed in myself.
And she was proud of me, when I felt proud to be myself.
Now she stands before me, and wow-- How she has changed. . .
She looks older, wiser... Tell me friend, enemy, companion-- For this change who am I to blame?
She smiles at me and rubs her stomach, looking at me with knowing eyes.
"You know what the change was, you are experiencing it too."
I look down at the bump under my shirt, the baby that in six months I shall birth.
I think of the love of my life over in the room next to me, how he's stood by my side through so much and so little all at the same time.
I think of my mother, who is trying so hard to make everything become right. And how I love her for being there for me and never making me be anything I'm not.
Anything I'm not...
That's what I am, I decide looking up into the mirror back at the girl who is me.
Back to the reflection that I sometimes loves and sometimes hate.
So is the girl in the mirror that I see?
Is this girl the me that I was always suppose to be?
Gothic?
Quiet?
Depressed?
Anxious?
Neurotic?
Shy?
Pregnant at age eighteen?
Was this who I was meant to be.
A young mother.
With an amazing boyfriend.
And a loving mother.
My reflection and I stare at each other and we know the truth.
This was what I was missing.
When I was little.
As I got older.
When my friends were busy.
When I started high school.
When I was dating a girl and didn't know what I was yet.
I was always lacking something and so depression ate away at my soul.
But now I will finally have it.
The very thing that I was missing since the very beginning.
A family.
And I learned that all from the girl inside the mirror.
I learned all of that from finally opening my eyes and seeing myself.
Heavy, dark make-up covering the imperfections underneath.
Brown eyes staring at the girl that I've known all my life.
The face that looked back at me through the tears, the anger, the cutting and all of the fights.
The one that stared back at me when I became weak and just smiled and shook her head, she was disappointed in me.
When I was disappointed in myself.
And she was proud of me, when I felt proud to be myself.
Now she stands before me, and wow-- How she has changed. . .
She looks older, wiser... Tell me friend, enemy, companion-- For this change who am I to blame?
She smiles at me and rubs her stomach, looking at me with knowing eyes.
"You know what the change was, you are experiencing it too."
I look down at the bump under my shirt, the baby that in six months I shall birth.
I think of the love of my life over in the room next to me, how he's stood by my side through so much and so little all at the same time.
I think of my mother, who is trying so hard to make everything become right. And how I love her for being there for me and never making me be anything I'm not.
Anything I'm not...
That's what I am, I decide looking up into the mirror back at the girl who is me.
Back to the reflection that I sometimes loves and sometimes hate.
So is the girl in the mirror that I see?
Is this girl the me that I was always suppose to be?
Gothic?
Quiet?
Depressed?
Anxious?
Neurotic?
Shy?
Pregnant at age eighteen?
Was this who I was meant to be.
A young mother.
With an amazing boyfriend.
And a loving mother.
My reflection and I stare at each other and we know the truth.
This was what I was missing.
When I was little.
As I got older.
When my friends were busy.
When I started high school.
When I was dating a girl and didn't know what I was yet.
I was always lacking something and so depression ate away at my soul.
But now I will finally have it.
The very thing that I was missing since the very beginning.
A family.
And I learned that all from the girl inside the mirror.
I learned all of that from finally opening my eyes and seeing myself.
Published 12th Aug 2012
| Edited 15th Sep 2017
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12th Aug 2012 1:55am
I can relate so much for I was 16 and newly to be a mother. My daughter is my guardian angel. Funny how something that starts so small and yet to be seen can cause some of the worlds biggest changes! Beautifully done and I hope you enjoy motherhood as much as I do. :)
