a mirror to nowhere

The story began about five minutes ago
with a rudely self-righteous “I’m telling you this for your own good”
followed by my surprised what-the-fuck defensive stance
brought on by the words pouring like venom through her teeth.

“If you’re going to talk to me like that don’ talk to me at all”

“So just shut up and listen”

I’m shaking with enough rage to fracture my bones
walking away because standing around in the back yard
playing top-these-obscenities isn’t my idea of a good time.

And she’s so fucking lovely. Everyone tells me she’s so fucking lovely
and I’ve long stopped seeing it, when she’s lovely to everyone
but me.

She’s the best role model I’ve ever had.
She’s the reason I never want to be in love.
She’s everything to me and nothing at all.

Because beneath all the pretty words
she sometimes leases to my ears
I know deep down that I’m nothing at all.

© Indie Adams 2012