Back Then

when i see you,
with someone else.
my heart thumps loudly.
it hurts.
the way, it pounds.
did you plan this?
were you hoping i'd feel this way?
that i'd never be able to look at you again?
i wonder am i only a burden to you.
i talk to you.
i pretend that nothings wrong.
that i dont feel a thing.
that we will always be just friends.
you ask my opinion,
when you want to her something.
it hurts.
the way my heart burns.
is this jealousy?
i dont like it.
you come over.
you tell me your problems.
you tell me you fought.
do you expect me to help?
even though i love you too?
i took my chance.
i kissed you.
but you pushed me away.
running out the door.
school became akward.
but in the end.
i lied to you.
i told you,
that it was a test.
to see if you really loved her.
you understood,
and aplogized for the misunderstanding.
it hurts.
the disolving of my heart.
when i lied to you.
ive had enough hurting.
ive had enough pain.
i tell you i love you.
that,
that kiss was real.
but you shot me down,
without batting an eyelash.
did you see this coming?
you always act,
as if you could see straight through me,
could you really?
this was all last year.
but now.
your coming back.
telling me.
that you love me too.
but i gave that all up.
i ran away from that feeling.
i cant accept you, any more.
but youll always hold.
a specail place in my heart.
the one that,
thumped,
and burned,
and disolved back then.