Bully

In the silence as teardrops fall
and shadows dance across the wall
the memories of yesterday
that seem oh so very far away
taunting me, breaking me,
never ever letting me be
I close my eyes and quietly sigh
so tired of living in a lie
how many lives did I disregard
trying to be tough, acting so hard
harsh words spoken
promises constantly broken
self preservation
background manipulation
quietly fading into obscurity
hiding from the reality
Once I believed in heaven above
once I thought I knew real love
but the facade I chose to portray
became my life, was here to stay
now I know not the real me
just lonely self loathing misery
I smile but never really do
the sad thing is i hate me too
when everything is said and done
hurting others was never fun