This Darkness of mine

I hide myself away
in the darkest corners
watching the clock tick
and tock
I've shunned the light
distanced myself from
my friends, family
always living in my past
my heart has turned black
and my eyes are so cold
and my soul feels so alone
but i cant deny that this
darkness i should fear
provides me some warmth
when i know that it shouldn't.
i must say, i do feel like
i deserve this loneliness
like i deserve any
punishment i receive
for these terrible things that
have happened. sometimes things
that happened to me.
this black smoke in this darkness
keeps company always showing me
what I've done wrong
telling me constantly
i should pay for my sins
with my life, but
I'm not ready yet.
i think for a little while more
ill sit here in this damn
corner watching my life tick
away in the dark.