I'm sorry but I still love you

don't call me tough, don't call me strong  
because you're all wrong  
if I were the things you say  
why am I still this way?  
hurting like I am  
wishing I could just see his face again  
is he missing me?  
is he happy?  
does he even think of me at all?  
how did I let this curtain of reality fall?  
all these question turn and burn in my aching mind  
I wish he'd give me just a wee bit of time  
to convince him of the truth of what really went on with that girl and me  
to show him I never meant to betray him if I did in anyway  
what did she tell him anyway?  
he's so close and yet so far  
I could walk to him, I don't even need a car  
if I cut would he then be able to see  
how much he means to me?  
I never wanted to cause him pain  
I never wanted to drag him into this mental rain  
I miss him more with every breath I take  
I wish he would give me a chance for goodness sake!  
why didn't he trust me?  
what did I do to make him go? I'm so confused see?  
I want him here in my arms, I want to show him what he means to me  
I'd cut out my heart if he asked me to  
I'd do it just to show him that I still love him and I really do not want this to be through  
this, this wasn't meant to end like this!  
without you I feel like a living dead girl  
without you I can't seem to breathe  
but you don't care because you're not here you're fucking there  
I should be angry I should be furious  
but boy I haven't slept in so long I'm probably delirious  
not that you would even care  
because you're still not here you're still there  
would you change your mind if I told you how I feel?  
or would you call me a liar and claim my feelings aren't even real?  
I'm sorry I never got to tell you I loved you  
I'm sorry you saId good bye and I'm sorry I'm such a coward and not strong enough to go to you  
I'm sorry I'm such a fool  
I'm sorry but I still love you