deepundergroundpoetry.com
Offensively Free Self-Defense Class / writ about a yearAgo
back?holding? hardpart of what pain?what
p'art
of myPain is sfucking hard?my
pain
frightens you, doesn't it?as badly as-if iwould say some crazyshitlike
''narcissus is huma
nity's Only Real God''---thee notion of which is such a cosmicomedic
Reflection of Self as2
rock one's balance, & make 1 fall in2thee deepend of thee drowningpool during
our 4th'o'july-hubricelebration.
isitlike myPain unmasked is is is islike y'ourPain revealed? are you
afeared tha'myPain is
gonnamake yr pretty coverclothings dis'appear, or at least seem disfashionable?
aw cmon....that could never-happen like that.
there's enough social reinforcement of instituted denial that our covercloths could
never
just disappear just-like-that, & thee purchase of cleverwords'o'that good'old
positivity-enforcement are as close as a supermegamart templechurch
where them moneychangers'll
change yr money in2 a dis'association of our pain, &even ask, (albeit wit maybe vapid'sincerity),
"how are you2day?i'mFine&how are you?i'm fine"
&then, if i dare to joke about myPain, y'ourPain is off'ended, feeling it's preciousness in question...phew!
i'guess it'slike in this real-world of thee Truth of Believable Reality, business w'ill fail-miserably
unless wee strictly abstract, separate, distinguish, discern, segregate, evaluate,
& protect ourSelfs from That(other)Pa[font=Times New Roman]in stimulating MyPain which is
all ways Healing via my magical-thinking [borne of pain] wit my super-beliefing [borne of pain]
in My continuing-effort continuum of turning thee world into a [naturally disbalanced]
Perfectly Positive Painless Place - &so,[+ergo], round&round we'ego!
thus, to suggest that pain isnot thee Personal Affliction that egobelief tells us it is, is
(percieved) an out'rage'us, if-not [/font]repulsive, Insult......
wee cannot real'ly heal ourSelfs or themOthers un'til wee accept that our personal-perception of pain
just is Not Real, [regardless of qualitative quantities].
if y're prone t'thinkin ye have to decide who deserves compassion b4 'dispensing' any, then compassion just
will not Xist....anywhere....ever....all b'cause'o Y'Our thinkin'bout IT.
pretty ridiculous, ain't it? I'm embarrassed, but not personally.
VVVVVVVVVVdkzkVVVVVVVVVVVV
~Holding Back is the Hard Part~
I think we are embarrassed by how much pain we have been in throughout our entire lives. Because we are embarrassed, we don’t share this truth with one another. But the embarrassment is just that— embarrassment. We need to have mercy on ourselves. We all feel embarrassed. Actually, when we do share our embarrassment, we experience relief. The holding back is what is hard.
-Stephen Levine, "Living the Life You Wish to Live"
Published 14th Jul 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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15th Jul 2012 5:14am
pain is good, helps you learn, makes you strong. letting go of pain withheld can lighten your soul. sometimes pain is what we create ourselves. its the home we choose to live in. and the grave we choose to die in. everything in the world knows pain.
15th Jul 2012 1:46pm
""how are you2day?i'mFine&how are you?i'm fine"
&then, if i dare to joke about myPain, y'ourPain is off'ended, feeling it's preciousness in question...phew!"
I loved this bit - made me laugh a little. It's a tricky tightrope.
Interesting how by reading and seeing it in the writer, you're reading and recognising it in yourself. So when you laugh at it, you're not laughing at yourself, but everyone. And there's a collective incredulous moment. Really enjoyed reading over these reflections, spattered with those quirky tweaks to words (favourite: "y'ourPain").
&then, if i dare to joke about myPain, y'ourPain is off'ended, feeling it's preciousness in question...phew!"
I loved this bit - made me laugh a little. It's a tricky tightrope.
Interesting how by reading and seeing it in the writer, you're reading and recognising it in yourself. So when you laugh at it, you're not laughing at yourself, but everyone. And there's a collective incredulous moment. Really enjoyed reading over these reflections, spattered with those quirky tweaks to words (favourite: "y'ourPain").
15th Jul 2012 6:33pm
much thankyou both for
readin
&takinTime2
write back
grazie/gracias/merci
readin
&takinTime2
write back
grazie/gracias/merci
