dear janissa

dear janissa,
   i am jealous of you because i feel like you are getting too close to Brandon. I'll tell why i feel like this in a minute but before i tell you that i need to say this first, i am jealous, and extremely depressed to a point where i feel like i need to cut myself but i wont do it. i promise i wont.
   let me get to my point before this paper is soaked in my painful tears. i don't know what's going on between you and Brandon and i feel like if i know i might as well drop dead to floor because i wouldn't be able to handle it. i know you're wondering why i don't just say this to you well writing is something that helps me cope and express myself.
   when i first came to Restart Academy Cares i fell hard for Brandon. i feel in love way to soon. he use to take the train and us with me all the way home. than we became boyfriend and girlfriend. it only lasted three days. than he told me that he didn't feel ready. that broke a piece of my heart. my heart was already beyond damaged. than he stopped taking me home. i felt lonely. i started writing him poems and in each one it said, " i love you."
   now Moet comes into the picture and they start dating or whatever. i felt like the pieces of my broken heart shattered into a thousand more pieces. i was very depressed and jealous. i tried to win him back but i couldn't. i felt like she had something i didn't. was it that i don't dress as nice as Moet? or sing? or dance? or is out spoken as her? what was wrong with me? what could i change to get him back> the answer was nothing.
   than you came into the picture. i thought you were cool and i still do. i want to be friends, but i need to get my point across first. to me i see me in you. Brandon's a great guy. i feel jealous because i feel like he likes you a lot. i feel like I'm not anything to him anymore. I'm just another face you see in school. well I'd like to keep writing but i need to go for i am crying right now and i don't want to smudge the beautiful ink on the paper. so i shall go. goodbye.