Peacful Death

As I lay here, My blood forming a silhouette of my dying body.  My mind lost.
And for once my soulless life felt at peace!!!
Dying seemed so peaceful, So welcoming.
Why does living have to be an effort?

But

Dying comes so easily...
Everything was quiet, Like someone muted the earth.

I saw the wind play through the leaves but I couldn't hear a thing...
The only sound that I could hear in this endless darkness was the sound of the thumbing beat of my dying heart.  

At this darkening moment I wanted to die, or at least I wanted to stay like this...

For an eternity!!

The sky was a blackening grey, The forest floor was cold, The nature was unwelcome.

But

I've never felt more alive than in this dying state of mine.
I felt strong...
Even though I was weak!
I felt alive...
Even though death's hands were reaching out to me.

If I die... Will I stay here?

Or will those horrid hands take me away from here?
Will it be as peaceful as the right here right now...

This is my new addiction!
I want to fall into those hands.

But

It almost feels like giving up and giving up is never peaceful, or...
Is it in this case?

But this feeling is just too addictive and I'm in need of more...
It feels like I can't live without it.

Which is kind of ironic?

The silence felt quiet.
I couldn't hear my weak heart anymore...
The hands pulled me into the pitch black darkness.

There I lay... Silent... Unmoved... Untouched...

Nothing was peaceful about this!!! I try to open my eyes...
I tried to take a breath...
I tried to sit up straight...

But

The blackness was too heavy.

Dying is peaceful...

Death is unwelcome.