deepundergroundpoetry.com
what I know
there's enough that I don't know I
don't know
how to breathe in water but you know
you know I
don't know how to swim upstream I
know you know
and that's why we are. You shouldn't -
be around me I
have to be around you this
I know I
know that you shouldn't be around me
don't know
how to breathe in water but you know
you know I
don't know how to swim upstream I
know you know
and that's why we are. You shouldn't -
be around me I
have to be around you this
I know I
know that you shouldn't be around me
Published 27th Jun 2012
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likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 620
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
27th Jun 2012 5:22pm
I rather like it! Sweetly sorrowful, with unusual comparisons. Well done.
~The Wilted Rose
~The Wilted Rose
27th Jun 2012 7:11pm
27th Jun 2012 5:38pm
Mr A
Beautiful expansion of an idea.
Can;t get any simpler and better.:)
Love this extended metaphor you have used.
The wordplay and repetition makes it a
memorable read.
Write on sir,
Sumeet
Beautiful expansion of an idea.
Can;t get any simpler and better.:)
Love this extended metaphor you have used.
The wordplay and repetition makes it a
memorable read.
Write on sir,
Sumeet
27th Jun 2012 7:12pm
27th Jun 2012 6:51pm
27th Jun 2012 7:13pm
Pretty powerful write here mr. a...dont have to study kaballah to see the math here unlocks a deeper virtue
28th Jun 2012 11:06am
28th Jun 2012 1:29am
We create our own ripples that affect those around us, and those around us affect us with their ripples too. its an intermingling of being, becoming a being from beings. Your poem, MrAlptraum, makes one think in the abstract.
28th Jun 2012 11:09am
