deepundergroundpoetry.com
plot twist
The intent was to strap you to an altar,
worship you with lust,
and maybe carve out
your still-beating heart
while fucking
your soul.
The reality is: I'm strapped to your bed,
flayed from the inside,
and you gently press
one damp finger to my lips
and tell me this will
only hurt
everywhere.
While I try to reconcile
the odd turn of events,
inside I'm jumping
up and down,
screaming,
"Yay!"
worship you with lust,
and maybe carve out
your still-beating heart
while fucking
your soul.
The reality is: I'm strapped to your bed,
flayed from the inside,
and you gently press
one damp finger to my lips
and tell me this will
only hurt
everywhere.
While I try to reconcile
the odd turn of events,
inside I'm jumping
up and down,
screaming,
"Yay!"
Published 20th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 6
reads 1297
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Jun 2012 7:03pm
Betty
This is the notorious Betty page!
every. single. word.
The first stanza is built on an image
that has fascinated me. It reminds me
of 'Closer' amongst other things.
[altar made me genuinely happy]
Fucking the soul also stood out in this
setting.
The 2nd stanza ends with a massive jolt
of a sentence. The separation of place and action works very effectively. 'just
everywhere'.
The last two sentences made me guffaw. I heard
a voice from within that said 'yes-she-does-that'.:) It was more like a yeeeey-haw!
[Texan Cowgirl in a crimson jacket..]
That was indeed a twist. Graphic. Almost like
an inside joke.
Write on,
Sumeet
This is the notorious Betty page!
every. single. word.
The first stanza is built on an image
that has fascinated me. It reminds me
of 'Closer' amongst other things.
[altar made me genuinely happy]
Fucking the soul also stood out in this
setting.
The 2nd stanza ends with a massive jolt
of a sentence. The separation of place and action works very effectively. 'just
everywhere'.
The last two sentences made me guffaw. I heard
a voice from within that said 'yes-she-does-that'.:) It was more like a yeeeey-haw!
[Texan Cowgirl in a crimson jacket..]
That was indeed a twist. Graphic. Almost like
an inside joke.
Write on,
Sumeet
21st Jun 2012 00:33am
You are so insightful. I enjoy your reviews. You should be a literary critic. Really. You spend so much time on REALLY reading. That's just awesome.
Thanks for the review, Sumeet.
Thanks for the review, Sumeet.
20th Jun 2012 7:58pm
i agree with Sumeet!
you must be one (little) devil! The first stanza is brilliant. It prepares you for the grand revenge but 'the reality is' that there's a freaking twist in the plot. But it ended with a 'yay' so im very glad about it!
you must be one (little) devil! The first stanza is brilliant. It prepares you for the grand revenge but 'the reality is' that there's a freaking twist in the plot. But it ended with a 'yay' so im very glad about it!
Thanks opheliac.
Babe, I'm an angel. Totally.... and I couldn't even keep up that train of lies without laughing.
Betty
Babe, I'm an angel. Totally.... and I couldn't even keep up that train of lies without laughing.
Betty
Anonymous
20th Jun 2012 9:20pm
Betty,
Fun to discover that the plot is not the only thing twisted ; ) Enjoyed!
tornado
Fun to discover that the plot is not the only thing twisted ; ) Enjoyed!
tornado
21st Jun 2012 00:29am
Ay-freakin-MEHN
How lame would it all be if it wasn't twisted.
Thanks for the read,
Betty
How lame would it all be if it wasn't twisted.
Thanks for the read,
Betty
