deepundergroundpoetry.com
Disguised
Blankets of water fall from the sky
and beat my windows into submission.
The heavy torrent creates streams
chasing down the glass
granting me a submarine view
then I battle with the air.
The violent virgin rain
is the solemn sound of goodbye.
I've forgotten her last words
they can't of been worth a memory
but a memory to me right now
will crush me like these walls, this
draining vacuum tightens like a vice
and it pours like relentless lightning
as I unwillingly clench the still.
I escape these heavy-growing walls
and shrug my soul off
into the water's scattered pockets
to eventually seep back
through the earth's umbilical cord
as I hide my tears
in the cover of the rain.
and beat my windows into submission.
The heavy torrent creates streams
chasing down the glass
granting me a submarine view
then I battle with the air.
The violent virgin rain
is the solemn sound of goodbye.
I've forgotten her last words
they can't of been worth a memory
but a memory to me right now
will crush me like these walls, this
draining vacuum tightens like a vice
and it pours like relentless lightning
as I unwillingly clench the still.
I escape these heavy-growing walls
and shrug my soul off
into the water's scattered pockets
to eventually seep back
through the earth's umbilical cord
as I hide my tears
in the cover of the rain.
Published 6th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 632
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
7th Jun 2012 1:52am
Crying under the rain is a good disguise for tears, but not for pain. I do mine in the showers and it hurts no less too. I feel it, MrAlptraum.
7th Jun 2012 12:09pm
7th Jun 2012 1:24pm
Mr. A
You know your strength. And like a child
you flex your muscles and that's a display.
Of your prowess.
Like I have said before, I had heard it. Until I saw it myself and I see it now.
In another alternate reality, I have a feeling that you are named 'Metaphor'.:)
Immaculate imagery here. Such fluid and dancing images you paint.
'and it pours like relentless lightning
as I unwillingly clench the still.'
I mean, this won't budge off me for ages now.
It's a bear-trap of an image. Bravo.
'and shrug my soul off
into the water's scattered pockets'
Intelligent, tangible and poetic.
I should read your older poems. They tantalize me. Write on, sir. More, please.
Respect,
Sumeet
p.s-'they can't of been worth a memory'
There is something odd about it. Probably
you meant 'have been a memory'. IMO.
You know your strength. And like a child
you flex your muscles and that's a display.
Of your prowess.
Like I have said before, I had heard it. Until I saw it myself and I see it now.
In another alternate reality, I have a feeling that you are named 'Metaphor'.:)
Immaculate imagery here. Such fluid and dancing images you paint.
'and it pours like relentless lightning
as I unwillingly clench the still.'
I mean, this won't budge off me for ages now.
It's a bear-trap of an image. Bravo.
'and shrug my soul off
into the water's scattered pockets'
Intelligent, tangible and poetic.
I should read your older poems. They tantalize me. Write on, sir. More, please.
Respect,
Sumeet
p.s-'they can't of been worth a memory'
There is something odd about it. Probably
you meant 'have been a memory'. IMO.
7th Jun 2012 6:19pm
Why thank you, Sumeet.
I wasn't sure about the pouring lightning, but I'm glad you found no fault with it.
Yes I'm afraid I can't dismiss my metaphorical mind anymore. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
I just meant her last words were obviously not important enough as I had no memory of them.
Once again, thanks for your keen eye and good words.
I wasn't sure about the pouring lightning, but I'm glad you found no fault with it.
Yes I'm afraid I can't dismiss my metaphorical mind anymore. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
I just meant her last words were obviously not important enough as I had no memory of them.
Once again, thanks for your keen eye and good words.
