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A Twist in My Story (11 Weeks)
I don't know how to say it.
The words seem stuck in the back of my throat.
All though they make my heart and soul fill with warmth.
I just cannot say the words and actually believe them.
No not me.
I'm the bookworm.
The writer.
The goth girl.
The chick in the back of the room writing in a notebook.
That's who I am.
But here I am.
Six postive tests later.
Two weeks of throwing up every morning.
Here I am not getting my period for the past two months.
Here I am, eighteen years old.
And....
PREGNANT.
There!
I said it!
I said the word!
It's so hard to believe it.
To believe that I AM actually pregnant.
That I will have a child.
And this will not just be my life anymore.
My life that I can hang over a pit of knives and razors like it has no meaning at all.
My life that I throw around like it's nothing important.
Now it has all the importance in the world.
Because now it is what is keeping the little life inside of me alive.
My love supports me.
My mother supports me.
I do not know what my boyfriend's parents will say.
Two of my friend support me.
My characters support.
And I support myself.
I believe in myself throughout all of this.
I will be a good mom.
Despite what people may say because they do not know what this really, truely means to me.
This means the world to me.
This makes everything seem not so hard and dark anymore.
Because now I have something to live for.
Someone to make proud of me.
Someone to love me for everything that I will do for him or her.
This is the twist in my story.
And though it isn't what anyone was expecting.
I'm happy about it.
And I will do everything to make this baby inside of me happy as well.
The words seem stuck in the back of my throat.
All though they make my heart and soul fill with warmth.
I just cannot say the words and actually believe them.
No not me.
I'm the bookworm.
The writer.
The goth girl.
The chick in the back of the room writing in a notebook.
That's who I am.
But here I am.
Six postive tests later.
Two weeks of throwing up every morning.
Here I am not getting my period for the past two months.
Here I am, eighteen years old.
And....
PREGNANT.
There!
I said it!
I said the word!
It's so hard to believe it.
To believe that I AM actually pregnant.
That I will have a child.
And this will not just be my life anymore.
My life that I can hang over a pit of knives and razors like it has no meaning at all.
My life that I throw around like it's nothing important.
Now it has all the importance in the world.
Because now it is what is keeping the little life inside of me alive.
My love supports me.
My mother supports me.
I do not know what my boyfriend's parents will say.
Two of my friend support me.
My characters support.
And I support myself.
I believe in myself throughout all of this.
I will be a good mom.
Despite what people may say because they do not know what this really, truely means to me.
This means the world to me.
This makes everything seem not so hard and dark anymore.
Because now I have something to live for.
Someone to make proud of me.
Someone to love me for everything that I will do for him or her.
This is the twist in my story.
And though it isn't what anyone was expecting.
I'm happy about it.
And I will do everything to make this baby inside of me happy as well.
Published 5th Jun 2012
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6th Jun 2012 10:10pm
I think he/she should love you not for what you do but for who you are. The poem ALMOST wants me to become pregnant. The love and feeling you have for your future child has made him/her a part of you now and forever. That is really wonderful, as is your poem.
