deepundergroundpoetry.com
That four lettered word
I wake up, not feeling like
doing anything at all
My cellphone beeps faintly
There are a dozen missed calls
probably from the office
I don't bother
I smash it against the wall
the rubber keypad falls down
the rest scatters across the floor
and go into selective exile
lucky-inanimate-bastards
There are mild yellow patches
of semen-dried, crusted
on the crumpled sheets
That does not fascinate me
I hear the clattering
from the kitchen
and the maid is on leave
Wait, we don't have one
Not anymore
This is June, yes it is
I go back to sleep
I wake up some time later
my knuckles hurt upon
even slight movement
the wounds on my back
sting as sweat trickles
over them
I feel sapped in the heat
This time it is on the
outside
I can hear the juicer
I ask myself if she did turn off
the AC on purpose
If yes, then what
I am a spineless waste
of a man who probably
loves his woman way too much
which does not even reach her
as if love was tangible
I swim thru invisible castor oil
and sit on the torn bean bag
There is glass everywhere
and small blots of blood
on the wall, mostly B+
I know, cause I know
She [I look at her]
peels an orange
lights a Marlboro
eats the orange at one go
chews in a way that sounds like tch tch
throws the cigarette away, without even smoking
runs her fingers thru her hair
examines her nails
yawns and smiles
sits up
looks down
closes her eyes
picks her smashed phone
examines it for a while
cracks her fingers
grabs an old Elle
dumps it back on the cane table
I storm towards her
without even touching her
I open the glass window
and haul myself down
and the causeway keeps
getting clearer, nearer
I blink
Still here.[That was close, Mr. Boyle]
Then it must have been love
that flew across
O like fuck t'was
whom am I, kidding
whom, are you kidding
We are all trapped
lost, gone, ill-equipped
All so miserable, needy, greedy,
pathetic and yet full of optimism
for a better tomorrow
or may be life
Long shot, I will say
smiling my scar of happiness
as Lenon sings All we need is love
Oh shoot, him again.
Published 4th Jun 2012
| Edited 5th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 766
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Jun 2012 9:21pm
equipped has the i in the wrong place.
Dude. Again, brutal, terrible, lovely, powerful. There is so much happening in this story, this active moment that you bleed out to the next moment.
Really fantastic.
Dude. Again, brutal, terrible, lovely, powerful. There is so much happening in this story, this active moment that you bleed out to the next moment.
Really fantastic.
5th Jun 2012 00:09am
Betty
:) Thank you for pointing that out.
And everything you had to say.
Glad it spoke to you. Was not too sure.
But you are a proven life saver.
Be around.
Light,
Sumeet
:) Thank you for pointing that out.
And everything you had to say.
Glad it spoke to you. Was not too sure.
But you are a proven life saver.
Be around.
Light,
Sumeet
5th Jun 2012 5:59pm
Really liked those little phrases "That does not fascinate me" and "This is June, yes it is," near the beginning. They're delivered in this abrupt way that brings about this sense of bewilderment which really made me smile to myself.
I thought that long string of actions that begins "She [I look at her]" works great to build the same weariness in the reader as the narrator seems to be feeling. And I love how that aside of [I look at her] creates a closeness between the narrator and reader, as if he's turning round to speak to you.
"I am a spineless waste
of a man who probably
loves his woman way too much
which does not even reach her
as if love was tangible"
My favourite little bit - SO poignant, and even more so for catching me unawares after following observations about juicers, crumpled sheets and annoying cellphones.
I always feel when I read you stuff (and it's something I love about it) that I'm hanging onto the edge of a reality I'm slightly out of touch with.
I thought that long string of actions that begins "She [I look at her]" works great to build the same weariness in the reader as the narrator seems to be feeling. And I love how that aside of [I look at her] creates a closeness between the narrator and reader, as if he's turning round to speak to you.
"I am a spineless waste
of a man who probably
loves his woman way too much
which does not even reach her
as if love was tangible"
My favourite little bit - SO poignant, and even more so for catching me unawares after following observations about juicers, crumpled sheets and annoying cellphones.
I always feel when I read you stuff (and it's something I love about it) that I'm hanging onto the edge of a reality I'm slightly out of touch with.
Merda
Thank you for such a beautiful feedback.
You are such a joy of a reader. Godspeed
to the likes of you, poetess.:)
Truth be told I wrote this day before after
a very long dry spell. Simply opened 'Submit poem'.
And just wrote it down. Was a lot apprehensive.
You know, I have always been afraid of not being
able to write. [That would be worse than death]
But, I am so glad that it worked. You are a life saver,
again. I can always trust your judgement.
And the last line was the most beautiful thing
I could ever want as an aspiring poet. Will cherish
it[It's not everyday I hear things like that] and
probably take it to grave with me.
Power to you, poetess
Sumeet
Thank you for such a beautiful feedback.
You are such a joy of a reader. Godspeed
to the likes of you, poetess.:)
Truth be told I wrote this day before after
a very long dry spell. Simply opened 'Submit poem'.
And just wrote it down. Was a lot apprehensive.
You know, I have always been afraid of not being
able to write. [That would be worse than death]
But, I am so glad that it worked. You are a life saver,
again. I can always trust your judgement.
And the last line was the most beautiful thing
I could ever want as an aspiring poet. Will cherish
it[It's not everyday I hear things like that] and
probably take it to grave with me.
Power to you, poetess
Sumeet
Anonymous
10th Jun 2012 8:55am
i gotta say i picked the worst time to read this, as it's 2 in the morning and i get to experience a similar stress tomorrow morning. (yay.) but i agree with Merda about the stream of actions that serve as a tension builder. i must apologize for earlier, putting this on my reading list without a proper comment, i was pressed for time. :]
aglitch
Always a pleasure to have you.
Glad it had that effect.
Hey, no time is the worst time[if you believe me].
Afterall it's a seamless continuation.
Hope your day went alright.:)
Thank you for the visitation,
Sumeet
p.s-Honoured to be there in the reading list.
And 'pressed for time' made me smile. :)
Always a pleasure to have you.
Glad it had that effect.
Hey, no time is the worst time[if you believe me].
Afterall it's a seamless continuation.
Hope your day went alright.:)
Thank you for the visitation,
Sumeet
p.s-Honoured to be there in the reading list.
And 'pressed for time' made me smile. :)
