deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Best Girl I Can See
I set sail for a New World to explore
What I found I've never seen before
If you say no, I guess that's just the breaks
It'll be another one of my mistakes
Don't get me wrong, you're no ones mistake to me
When I look around you're the best girl I can see
I've been hiding it ever since we met
Behind an undefined silhouette
Should poems reveal what I'm afraid to say?
If I never ask, you can't come out to play
But before I impart you with the truth
Let this not be a sayer of the sooth
I wonder how this is going to sound
How will you feel when the secret is unwound?
Will you become more than the girl I secretly admire?
I want you to experience my desire
To answer the question written on your face
I want us to occupy mutual space
06/28/1987
What I found I've never seen before
If you say no, I guess that's just the breaks
It'll be another one of my mistakes
Don't get me wrong, you're no ones mistake to me
When I look around you're the best girl I can see
I've been hiding it ever since we met
Behind an undefined silhouette
Should poems reveal what I'm afraid to say?
If I never ask, you can't come out to play
But before I impart you with the truth
Let this not be a sayer of the sooth
I wonder how this is going to sound
How will you feel when the secret is unwound?
Will you become more than the girl I secretly admire?
I want you to experience my desire
To answer the question written on your face
I want us to occupy mutual space
06/28/1987
Published 29th May 2012
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Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
29th May 2012 10:08pm
Simplicity in its implicit-y, I would say. I wonder how you would write it now, Poetryman.
30th May 2012 1:40am
Well, it would require falling in love again to find out how I would write it now, but my innocense is long gone, so it would likely be nothing at all like this one. I just went through my list of poems and found another 30 poems I have not yet posted here, most of which are from that 80's time period. One of the reasons I put friendly feedback on the commenting preference is because I see those old poems as echos from the past. I don't think that poems I wrote 25 years ago need to be scrutinized, as I have developed since then and am not looking for advice on writing at this point, but as things that were written in my youth, I don't expect that they would be as good as new poems, so really what would be the point of criticism now? And as I have had trouble seeing, it is a nice break to be able to copy and paste from my hard drive without having to worry so much about errors or thinking too hard, lol... jj
