My Final Resting Place (The Blue Notebook)

        It is I, again. I’m the itch that can’t be scratched, folks. Slightly annoying, but I mean well. In all seriousness, I’m just always looking for a catchy beginning. Hey, they can’t all be winners. It doesn’t get me down though, people.
 
      In the immortal words of David Lee Roth: “You gotta roll with the punches to get to what’s real.” It’s all about adapting, being a counterpuncher, that’s been my entire existence. Some things in this world are avoidable, others not so much.
 
      Look, I’m just a humble poet. With little stories that I hope helps somebody out there, or if nothing else let’s them know, they’re not alone. I’ve always been this kind of writer, except maybe the first year. I started off writing horrible hair band lyrics. I’m not kidding.
 
      When I tell you I was bad, that’s truly me being kind about those attempts at writing I made. Only a couple of people ever heard them, I have some theories on why they were so bad. Cast your mind if you will?
 
      First off, a 15 year old, who was a virgin at the time, writing lyrics about getting laid and chasing the ladies, well you see the problem with this already. I don’t have the miles in my life, the experience, to be anywhere in the vicinity of this topic. lol.  
 
      What can I say, I was a late bloomer. On the positive side of things, I didn’t have to worry about getting some gal pregnant. And as lame as that may sound to another teenager, not getting laid that is, when you look back on it at 50, somebody was watching out for my ass.
 
      All joking aside, folks. Matter of perspective is important in these scenarios. I wasn’t looking to start my life, with a hurdle like that right out of the gate. To be fair neither were the teenagers who were fooling around, that started their adult life with a baby.
 
      Life lessons are sometimes harsh, when faced with a reality no one that age is ready for. I’ve had many a friend start life out that way, some made it through those times, and came out all right on the other end. It is possible, because I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
 
      Damn, I was coloring way outside of the lines on that tangent. I’m telling you when I let my muse do the driving, I don’t know where we'll end up. Some of you say your favorite part are these moments I suddenly go off-road.
 
      Where was I at? Oh, of why I had no business writing those kind of lyrics. My other theory was simply, I was an awkward kid listening to hair metal trying to imitate their lifestyle, which wasn’t even plausible in a dreamworld.  
 
      Luckily, I didn’t quit writing over the horrible lyrics in that blue notebook. I was disgusted at the words I was writing, but I kept trying. I was getting better at flow, and rhyme, cutting down unnecessary words, little signs of progress.  
 
      Still trying to write about relationships I wasn’t having. I don’t mean sexual, I mean just having a girlfriend. Then one day my patience of keeping at it payed off. It was a combination of things really.
 
      I was going on 17, when my life started to change. First, the unexpected birthday gift, from a guy who’s backstory isn’t important at this juncture, I mentioned him once already in a bit part on my road-trip story he was the married guy in that story. He worked for my parents as well.
 
      He bought me an Anthrax album. Among The Living, to be more precise. It introduced to me to thrash metal. I loved it from the start, I could relate more to being the outcast, the underdog, the unpopular kid who wasn’t excepted in any social circle.
 
      I got stories there as well, people. But were not going down that road tonight, that’s a bumpy ride of horrors for another time. It changed my perception, I accepted who I was.  
 
      That was a big hurdle. The other thing that changed was meeting a guy, I’ve mentioned many times, by the name of, J.J. Burton. But I hadn’t written the lyrics that complete this metamorphosis, yet.  
 
      One weekend before the school year was about to start, I would pen the write that would show the new me. The real me as a teenager, anyhow.  
 
      It had been a slow build, their were hints, in previous writes, I’d have a sarcastic line or two about how I really felt mixed in with this bullshit style that never worked for me.  
 
      Then I penned: “My Final Resting Place.” The turning point for me, the beginning of chasing songwriting opportunities.
 
      I wasn’t the writer I am now, of course. I still wasn’t that great in my mind then either, but J.J. thought differently. Those words somehow convinced him, I was different, I had promise. The rest is history, folks.
 
      The words have only been heard by a handful of people. It never got music at all, because lyrics would start pouring out of me, including collaborations, with J.J.  
 
       It became kinda folklore around my musician friends. The song that was mentioned, but never a verse uttered. Only J.J., Joey G, & my brother Garrett have heard the words.
 
      I’m growing, folks. I’m gonna share the first two lines with you all. Now remember I’m only 17, and don’t make me regret this. lol.  
 
      “I’m on my way to the crossroads, don’t know if I’m coming back again.” I’m having second thoughts about this. But that’s the first two lines of, “My Final Resting Place.”
 
      Nothing else shall be uttered again, from that dreaded blue notebook. Which happens to be 33 years old by the way. Well that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Thanks for reading. Peace, Love, & Lennon.