It should have been you

I grew a landing strip
on my bald lady garden
because I wanted
a change

and I love the way
the smooth skin
feels next to a
tight little bundle
of dark curls in  
a perfect porn star strip

you were right about
the way I felt
about
you

That time you
almost asked

That message that we
both knew would have
been a beginning

That wasn't in your head.

I was a chicken shit
for pulling away

but your arms felt
less dangerous
than my Machiavellian
machinations
and at the time
I was
emotionally
suicidal

I was wrong.

I should have died in your arms
but I was afraid
of the tender way
your mouth
formed
my name

so I close my eyes,
and find my
novel little
strip of pubes,

I revel in the texture
and think
of you inhaling
as your tongue
touched me

and in the dark
I whisper
something
that sounds
like truth