Panning the camera

         
         
    I've been told, that i have "issues" with "control"- "aggressive"- hardly so- though perhaps moreso with a "passive" approach? but if you knew me- I'm a "foodie" that doesn't trip when food gets cold....        
         
   I've always lived "in my own world"- life has always been "first person mode"- like half "human" half "robo"- with a built in vcr-and tape that "plays" when eyes awake- the film may glitch- then go- but when the tape has ran a while- it "may" get on a roll....        
         
anyway- one's self esteem does fluctuate-it blows; the depth that words could hold- the deeper the rabbit 's hole.... i believe in precious moments- there's "nostalgia"- then there's "old".... my mind embraces journey- mentality- yolo....        
         
but my body dare not travel- unless there's urgency to go.... I'm stuck inside imagination- where there's no ice to break-or cracking any codes....        
         
 interactions shouldn't feel like work- one's "feet" trained to tip toe; withdrawal comes way too easy-   but motions- wanted most; the isolation is too real- an island, windy- cold....          
         
 conversations aren't the only thing- that one would like to hold.... natural, fresh- not feeling forced- tied down is not the goal.... just peacefully being in the moment- guess that's me "wanting control...."