I adore you, more than I implore

I adore something
I no longer have the privilege to explore
I lived off what was implored for so long
I forgot what I was doing it for

Let it be, ignore what I see
Act like it was never meant to be
Especially when it’s not good for me
But there’s so much in between

I want to change
I want to be this something
But I am nothing and everything
And that’s all I’ll ever be
I wish you never witnessed me