deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Steps (Suicide content Warning)
I stand at the bottom of the cliffs
A staircase winds up
Through the gorse and bracken
Its night, I'm alone, I can smell the sea.
Each step up brings me closer to the cliffs
Closer to the memorial benches
The rabbit nibbled grass
The rickety wood and wire fence
The sign warning of the drop
Up I climb
Rising closer to the top
When I am half way
I feel like turning back
I don't. I climb
I reach the top
Metres from the edge
The breeze from the sea is cooler up here
The orange lamps from town are dotted
Pearls and rubies zip along the roads
Taxis comb the dead hours
I aim to jump
To fall and turn into a raven
Then fly out to sea and never be seen
Then I stop myself
What if I hit the rocks below
What would my mother think
Someone will have to scoop up my body and identify me
I couldn't break her heart
On the small chance that I would be transformed
So I climb back down the steps
Past the thorns and bracken
To the concrete streets below
Foot note
I won't let the bastards win.
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