deepundergroundpoetry.com
Obscene Vision
Live is spelled wrong, we all know that, right?
It just doesn't sound right
It just doesn't look right
Can't hear any screams
Can't smell fear or decaying bodies
Can't see any pain or frustration
What's happening?
I don't know
All I know is, it's just not right
Do you know what the right path should be?
It just doesn't sound right
It just doesn't look right
Can't hear any screams
Can't smell fear or decaying bodies
Can't see any pain or frustration
What's happening?
I don't know
All I know is, it's just not right
Do you know what the right path should be?
Published 29th Jan 2025
Author's Note
Vision of Obscenity was the original name I was going to use here on DUP. This poem was going to be my 1st poem if I chose that name.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 0
comments 14
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Jan 2025 10:34pm
That would have set the stage of how you write. This is good Keith. I like it
29th Jan 2025 11:51pm
Anonymous
- Edited 28th Mar 2025 1:51am
29th Jan 2025 11:21pm
<< post removed >>
29th Jan 2025 11:52pm
29th Jan 2025 11:21pm
Powerful write, Keith. Liked this a lot my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
Damian
29th Jan 2025 11:52pm
30th Jan 2025 00:10am
I agree, I liked this a lot. But I like Vision of Insanity better 😊
It would have been a strong first poem.
It would have been a strong first poem.
30th Jan 2025 00:17am
Me too Debbie. I'm happy to be VoI for life!
Thanks for the comments as always!!!
Thanks for the comments as always!!!
30th Jan 2025 10:33am
30th Jan 2025 11:12am
well the guy feel that something is right or wrong ..in itself is the pertinent sense of being.. & the questioning search is the profundity of life itself.. what you say of LIVE & the bland deathlike existence says of the strong & ideal narrative that stresses change to true live~life . strong scribe Keith love this tone. VOI is better though ;) as i equate insanity as sheer uncompromising madness or pureform living amidst anything :)
31st Jan 2025 3:42pm
Thanks Uma for this awesome feedback. I appreciate. Yes I like Vision of Insanity better as well!!
31st Jan 2025 4:24pm
Great questions! It's like Olive without the "O" so technically it means "no peace"? Maybe idk lol
31st Jan 2025 4:48pm
