I cannot be a part of this no more

If I were to put it candidly, you have everything I’ve ever wanted.
You are the better half. The holy counterpart to my hell, introducing hail unto my brimstone.
Everything I wished for myself, and you come along and show me I was right for desiring those things.
Sharp shank to my rib every time I see your face and I minimize my half smile.
It’s beauty locks my cage and I remain captured, unable to look at you, with nervous laughter.
Your intellect engages my mind, makes me ponder, bound and enraptured.

Which is why, I cannot be a part of this no more.
I live amongst the underworld and you sit pretty, on a pedestal, that I don’t mind holding up. You deserve such things.
I want to change but no one has ever made me feel like I had to. Complacency, but you push me and it feels great to know someone wants me to be better other than myself.
There’s not a single thing that would make me think I was worth your time.
I am empty. I do not have anything to give, nothing to provide.
All I can give you is my time and my mind. But that’s not enough when my thoughts cost pennies.
And you deserve better.

If allowed, I would fight for you, bleed for you, live for you, even when I don’t wanna live for myself.
The devil couldn’t fight me back on the way to your heart.
I would walk on jagged stones and fiery coals only to have audience with you.
May I stand by your side or be your shadow.
Or be nothing at all, for I cannot be a part of this no more.