looking for lost years

 
since fall your eyes have been more cloudy than usual
fogging up like windows do on cold, rainy days
even when we sometimes forget to breathe
and there are situations where you’ll have to remind yourself
that there are still good things after childhood
and i have to pretend that it really is a hopeful thought
because of how sad of a kid you were

winter has past like a small fish you’ve been forced to say ‘goodbye’ to
but it was your fish and i could care less
except the warmth is starting to stitch smiles on local faces
plastering metal hinges on the sides of their lips
and it has become the new fad
for people like us, as ugly on the inside as we are
making us more likeable to the rest of the world

when spring only lasted two days i could tell
you were disappointed
because the bugs had already reproduced and there was no point
in rolling around on the grass, i wish i could tell you
how glad i was that you called each day beautiful anyway
even when the tears soaked through your shoes
and the ends of your hair began to wither into ash

by the time it was summer our whole selves
had distorted into stone -
feelings and emotions, one after another until we were complete statues
no more important than the asphalt where we were displayed
and i’d like to think that when you move your dusty lips
it’s because you care about all the measured time i wasted
trying to stop this from happening
but i’m not sure how much apologies mean when you’re dead