Intrepid Remorse

I wanted your little capsules
Stashed away
Then tossed like garbage  
Thinking I didn't want them.  
 
Your little rolled up poems
Just for me
Unable to receive  
But awaiting the day.  
 
Your bracelet  
To match  
To keep intact  
To know who we were.  
 
I won't forget
No I won't forget
But I'll always regret
Telling you no.  
 
It wasn't the right time
We couldn't have us
All the drama and stress
All the new events.  
 
But I did want you  
And all your little gifts  
For the little things matter
And you mattered most.  
 
Yeah  
I wish you didn't
Toss them away
For I would of cherished them  
 
But blame befalls
The weary soul
That still thinks of you
Ever so fondly  
 
Your loss was overbearing  
And stone by stone
Thrown your way
Made it too much
 
How I wished to gaze
Into those beautiful  
Big gleaming eyes
So appealing and vicarious.  
 
Even in sadness
Not letting me see in
Still shining
Still beautiful with tears
 
Those beautiful  
Glass reflective eyes
Like a mirror
Looking right back at me.  
 
Sometimes
Thinking heavily.  
Wondering
Could you see through mine
 
I wonder and wonder  
What it would be like
To have your gaze
To have you not even a foot away.  
 
Oh yes
I think of this
Every day  
As every minute passes.  
 
The days are long
Where I don't hear you
Like a song coming on
Seeing your name pop up  
 
Randomly crying
In outburst  
Knowing I can't be yours  
Feeling your departure
 
I dream of us
Knowing we were meant to be
Just not the right time
And a thousand miles between  
 
Oh yes I dream of you.
And every promise
Every notion
And every motion we'd of swayed.
 
My hand in yours
Yours in mine
Wherever we went
Wherever we had been.  
 
To always look over
To see you there
To have you know me
To feel me.  
 
Oh lord knows.
I think of you every  
Single
Way.  
 
Your charity and patience
Your eternal.... Love....
My sea rivering out to
My Ocean touching your shore.
 
I'd of accepted
Everything from you
Always  
In the brink of time.  
 
To meet  
To see
The ones you lost
To keep us......together....
 
It would of made
The world of  
Bitter but loving
Difference....
 
For no loss  
Is without
A dire, dire
Tribulation......
 
I still have our cracked mirror
 
I still have your ring
 
I still wear it  
 
I still turn it
 
To make the heart
 
Always exposed
 
Always seen  
 
Time to time taking it off
 
Just to see my name inscribed  
 
With "My" right before.
 
But I keep it turned  
 
Showing face
 
From my heart to yours
From my spirit onward  
In this hell of a world  
In this dry spell  
 
I am still yours
I am still yours.  
I am still your long awaiting
Long needed
 
Friend and Lover till the end