your absence holds no weight

I think of you less
than I probably should
life / death
it's all meaningless in the end
and it's like I can breathe better
in your absence

I hope my children don't grow up
and hate me as much as I hate you

I found a photo of you the other day
the one where I'm 3 years old
frowing
and you're holding me in your arms
...
I didn't throw it out
rip it
burn it
erase it
I'm keeping this one
not for you
I'm keeping this one
for the little girl that hadn't learnt
to hate you yet
she deserves to hold onto some good
before the bad was all there was to see

I think of you less
than I probably should