Random Manic Journal Entry, 5 Days In

Deal with it, because I feel ok
in my own skin for the first time,
maybe ever.  
And I’ve had to fight demons
the size of identity-shaping dragons,
and swallow hereditary shame
to get here.  Still shrinking
at the idea that you’ll all think
I want your attention.  Crave it
in some unhealthy way.  
Well.  
Fuck what you think, anyway.  
I mean really.  
Fuck it and…fuck you
for trying to harsh my mellow today.  
It has to be said sometimes.  Seriously.  
I’m crumbling architecture,
worn by circumstance
weathered by choices
made in my best
and worst
states of mind.
good or bad, we’re all
self-serving, sometimes;
I’m no better than you.  
But you’re certainly
no better than me.