adrift...

 
talking to shadows
embracing pain
because it deserves its grief
as I ponder upcoming days

I've spent half of my life
attempting to heal
from trauma...
I'm still only learning to identify

self-confidence is nonexistent
it's so hard to trust instincts
clawing for hand-holds
in the cliffs of understanding

loving others as a default
struggling to see my own worth
counting victories by the grain
...as in sand on a vast beach

it's never been easy
& I don't know how to reconcile
my battle...
...with popular belief

time stamping orders
invalidating...me
determining my value...
as what can be taken

it's heartbreaking
declaring my greatest fear
& most painful damage
as the new normal

when all I ever wanted...
...needed...was to heal
& be the only one
...controlling me


it's not about politics...it's about humanity