Abuse at home (Ptsd)

Home is abusive no one listens to what I say,
Lilith comes into my room and her dark melody begins to play,
My mom doesn't care about me what mother would?
I was once a nobody someone who was good,

Abuse at home I can't say anything,
Why won't anyone love me or give me a ring?
The abuse still follows me it has never faded,
I want to see a new world created,

I go down by the river and cry softly,
What's true beauty if I can't be "The Hottie"?
I don't self inflict this is a different type of infliction,
The sad stories I tell are non- fiction,

It's a secret that I keep inside,
Just stay away you've been advised,
If I'm still human after all this trauma,
I just wanna say this is all your fault mama.