too much room

 
I feel like a pariah
they just want to give me time
but the more space they give me
...the bigger it feels
& I'm adrift
I just lost my best friend
& everything hurts
I'm on edge
reading more...less...into what's said
wishing I had a manual
a guide
anything to provide some answers
but these grey lands surrounding me
offer only silence
& more questions
a bunch of faces unwilling to turn my way
eyes blinded to my existence
it only makes the loss all the more noticeable
the void no longer occupied
...more visible
as I watch them go around me
like water parting for a body
am I even here...
I've had plenty of time to think
while they're giving me room to grieve
& at this point...
I think...
I just need someone to hold me



ya know?