Beatrice and Arthur

Arthur comes down in a robe, pajama and slippers because it is 5:30 in the morning, and the damn blender is going off in the kitchen. And here's how that conversation went.    
   
Beatrice    
   
Ohh  thank goodness you're awake. I was waiting until you rose. I need your assistance on this    
   
Arthur    
   
B, you woke me up at this godforsaken hour. For what reason?    
   
Beatrice    
   
You know I said I was starting my whole exercise regime. You said you would assist me with anything I ask of you. And I need your assistance.    
(She's looking at him, smiling sweetly and batting her eyes)    
   
Arthur    
   
Well, out with it I'm awake now    
   
Beatrice    
   
Well, as you can see, I have blended this beautiful green smoothie.    
   
Arthur    
   
I'm not drinking that Beatrice. I refuse to be your Guinea pig.    
   
Beatrice    
   
Who is asking you to be a Guinea pig? Now, let me finish what I was saying. This green smoothie has all the vitamins  from vegetables and minerals from the earth. I threw in some sea kelp because it has omega-3 fats. But here is where I need your assistance.    
   
Arthur (looking at her suspiciously)    
   
OK it sounds healthy So what would you need from me as long as I don't have to drink that.    
   
Beatrice(rubbing her hands together)    
   
You see I need you to give me some protein.    
   
Arthur    
   
Protein? Woman, go in the fridge, crack open some eggs, and get your protein. What do I need to do to crack the eggs open for you? You're not making any sense.    
   
Beatrice    
   
Pooh bear, I need you to Jerk off into the smoothie, and I need you to do it quickly because it loses its potency within 5 minutes of leaving your body.    
   
Arthur
   
Let me get this straight because I'm pretty sure I did not hear you correctly. You want me to whack off into your green smoothie, so you get some protein?    
   
Beatriceice nodding excitedly    
   
Yes. I heard it is of the best quality the minute it escapes your---    
   
Arthur    
   
No.    
   
Beatrice    
   
No?    
   
Arthur    
   
No. I'm not sure you understand how these things go Beatrice. But one has to be in the mood to do that kind of service. So go ahead and crack  some eggs because I am not putting in a deposit.    
   
Beatrice    
   
What if I help you along? Just pull your pants down, and I'll look at it, and it might just enthuse the idea    
   
Arthur    
   
Did you just say you'll look at it?    
   
Beatrice    
   
Yes, I'll make sure to look at it very long and, like you know, give it that extra oomph. Arthur, where are you going? You said you would assist me.    
   
Arthur    
   
it doesn't work that way Beatrice. Drink your smoothie then come up here for some protein I'll work it out.