Vessel of spite

Finally emptied of noisome contemplation
held on to for forty plus years
Tears shed
Gears shred
 
Your words—
I understand why they corrupted
They were blistering
bristling
You were an emphatic vessel of spite
Yet, you would never raise your voice
 
Your words—
aired in subtle manipulations
calculated
scarring
You dressed your ice in cryptic spice
Where it would enshroud
then melt
Penetrating my essence
Rusting my self-image
I was never able to redeem my light  
choked tight  
with your venom
 
Your words—
Jostling  
Replaying
Paying no mind to self regard
 
Shards of my spirit dripped through your fingertips
to the soil  
to be tread upon
Positive quips to thy self you discredited
 
You threw your scorn in my lap
it was hard to unwrap
It left a network of tangles that are unaligned
That I couldn’t unwind
I was too young to understand
Adult troubles thrust within malleable minds
It was stunting to my growth
 
Yet now,
as the tangles relax
I can uncoil the fuss
that has prevented me
from dipping my toes  
in  
redemption