You'll be my Hardest Goodbye

I feel like I’m leading you on,  
A flicker of hope before it’s gone.  
“Leading” feels too gentle, too kind—  
I’m drawing you close while losing my mind.

I’m pulled to you, yet I dread the truth—  
Soon I’ll surrender to this storm uncouth.  
I’ll make you fall, entangle our souls,  
Then shatter your heart, leaving empty holes.

I’m so sorry—this wasn’t my intent.  
You slipped into my life, a divine accident,  
Meant to be a distraction, a moment to breathe,  
While I prepared to say goodbye to all I grieve.

But now, you’re woven into my hardest farewell,  
A bittersweet sorrow, a private hell.  
I’m sorry, and I’m sorry in advance,  
It’s not you—it’s me, trapped in this dance.

My mind’s a warzone, I’m losing the fight,  
Pretending to be strong while I’m crushed by the night.  
I’ve become your rock, your fortress of dreams,  
The shoulder you lean on, unraveling seams.

Every word I whispered, the comfort I gave,  
Were echoes of solace I longed for to save  
Myself from the darkness, this crippling despair—  
But in lifting you up, I’m gasping for air.

So please, as you read this, know it’s with tears,  
That I’m sorry with all my heart for the weight of my fears.  
This battle’s too fierce; I’m not who I pretend,  
And losing you feels like the bitterest end.

I want you to fight, to find the light’s spark,  
But I can’t drag you down into my dark.  
So take this farewell, stitched with my pain,  
Know that I cared deeply, though I’m broken and drained.