The Illusion of A Dream Come True

 
Lost in a war of thoughts that compete for my inordinate affections
On a scale of vanity to the cost of living and all that takes from me

Dare I risk the hopes of dreaming as I mortgage my heart to the point of bankruptcy for a voice
What’s the worth of being heard when pricelessness is price gouged on the terms of desperation

Taking advantage of time sensitive opportunities without a bargain for passion
How do I cash out when I’m up
The house always wins and the payouts are lacking
Feeling like an underrated wonder, caught in the marvel of the enchantment of a legacy

I don’t want the devastation for the story when heartache forges a masterpiece of affliction
How can a man be made whole when he’s in love with his own brokenness?

Don’t hate me because I disenchant a knock off fairy tale
Is the essence of maturing a lesson in growing out of the dreams we forge of debts?
As we look back on our lives and learn to accept all we love and all that we regret

Don’t hate me because I won’t let you lie to yourself when your conscience is interrogated by the truth you refuse to come to terms with
Honesty is a hard pill to swallow when you’ve an acquired taste for the ways you lie to yourself

Lost for these inadequacies of duality and incoherence with words and practices
When I preach stones but frame my heart through a lens of roses
While self consciousness is forged of cynics that remind me of all the ways I’m flawed
Based in appearances that speak to something deeper, all the ways that I carry myself in this broken facade

Self images flashed and exploited tell me all that’s wrong
Hair line receded, crooked necked, and overthinking
Scrutinized when I’m too much like me

What’s the price tag on my dreams but a cost I work to attain
As I’m further entrenched in these debts of money and social firing squads
It feels like all my goals seem too grandiose to attain
And I’m still learning to prioritize the reasons that I breathe and relinquish my false gods…