The Thief In The Shadows

Its hard to live a normal life around my loved ones, they dont even know what you did to me that day.  
My husband asks what's wrong...all I can say is, I don't feel good.  
But... you know what you did to me, more importantly...I know what you did to me.  
Then I'm expected to live my life like some kind of hero in my own story.  
Well, I will never be a hero, but ill tell you what I will be...  
I'll be the girl who smiles in the face of demons, I'll love like an unquenchable fire when it feels like the whole world is pissing on me.  
I'll give when I have every right to take.  
I'll look you dead in the eyes and swear it doesn't hurt, before I give you the satisfaction of your intended agenda results...my hurt.  
You messed with the wrong woman, you see my quietness as weakness, well...if that's what you want to think.  
You see passive aggressive projected diagnosis that you hurl at me as delusion.  
No, I just learned how to actually let the shit roll off my back into my garden and at least do me some good if i have to deal with it.  
Fertilizer can either burn everything up, or grow the most beautiful flowers.  
And I can assure you, flowers are my favorite.  
With every snare you lay, I love my way out of it.  
But most of all, you want me to hate you..  
So, the last thing I will ever do is hate you.  
I will do ya one better...I forgive you.  
What you don't understand is, even in your best attempt to render me and my future incompacotated, there's not a bone in me that doesn't feel like I deserve your blows.  
So I fight this war with understanding firmly placed on my front lines.  
I lived in fear of your return, that is until I became numb and desensitized to it all.  
You broke in my house that day, you changed everything about me, and for that I am now grateful.  
I just may die and go to hell, but I will never go angry or without love in my heart.  
So, if you capture me again to steal my last breath, tell me what it feels like to be surrounded by love, that is if you can make your way through the overgrowth of beautiful flowers.  
P.S...  
I expect the delivery of my fertilizer daily, my flowers are the best they have ever looked.  
Thank you!