deepundergroundpoetry.com
Starfall
The black dark revolted the brightness of light.
Starless was the sky that night.
Light finds a way.
Even when darkness is gripped in agony
to stay.
My mortal heart is molting
immortal memories of you.
In the window of my mind,
a dusty light forces through.
A dark as tar is trying to destroy my heart.
Embryo's of light stabbed, pierced by mental darts.
Light finds a way
It gracefully invades.
The twilight boasts a gasoline sunset.
I know you but we've never met.
You are light.
I'm dark.
Behold the starfall over the park.
Starless was the sky that night.
Light finds a way.
Even when darkness is gripped in agony
to stay.
My mortal heart is molting
immortal memories of you.
In the window of my mind,
a dusty light forces through.
A dark as tar is trying to destroy my heart.
Embryo's of light stabbed, pierced by mental darts.
Light finds a way
It gracefully invades.
The twilight boasts a gasoline sunset.
I know you but we've never met.
You are light.
I'm dark.
Behold the starfall over the park.
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Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:11am
hello beautiful Debbie this is somber and yet breathtakingly beauty of a write 💕
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Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:19am
Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:13am
Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:19am
Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:13am
Very eloquently written, at least in the format of grammar and the words you used. "My mortal heart is molting/immortal memories of you. /In the window of my mind, /a dusty light forces through." is my favorite part. The way you carry the theme, and make smooth, but succinct transitions to convey your unraveling, visual emotion is distinct. There's is all kinds of this stuff throughout the poem. Overall, I enjoyed it. The ending was cool, too, heh.
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Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:22am
Hi! Thank you for such a nice review.
Lately my writing is like stitching random thoughts together.
But it kinda turns into something cool.
Nice seeing ya
Lately my writing is like stitching random thoughts together.
But it kinda turns into something cool.
Nice seeing ya
Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:32am
Yeah, it really can be like piecing a puzzle together, or weaving strands or strings together. You get so many ideas and have to organize them. There sort of has to be that raw element of imagination. Honestly, I think the ideas are better than the expressions themselves. Of course, it's a work of art to weave and piece them together all in its own. Anyway, yes, nice to see you around.
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Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:15am
Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:22am
Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:30am
Dear D,
I enjoyed and appreciated that reinforcement of light. Even if it’s just a sliver it’s the way to getting out from under the dark times. You’ve created a lovely write full of beautiful imagery and hope. H🌷
I enjoyed and appreciated that reinforcement of light. Even if it’s just a sliver it’s the way to getting out from under the dark times. You’ve created a lovely write full of beautiful imagery and hope. H🌷
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Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:35am
Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:36am
Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:46am
Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:37am
Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 1:46am
Nice to see you, thank you!
I will always believe that the light will find a way.
I will always believe that the light will find a way.
Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 11:29am
Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 2:04am
Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 11:30am
Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 2:11am
Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 11:31am
Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 11:19am
Outstanding piece Debbie. Beautiful flow. Well said with a mesmerizing image
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Re: Re. Starfall
22nd Aug 2024 11:33am