Please swipe left

Let's start with the obvious  
I'm a walking red flag  
I'm not hot enough to be  
this high up on the crazy scale  
but I really hate to disappoint  
unless you're expecting daily blow jobs  
and then I really will disappoint  
 
I prefer cunts to cocks  
but I'll fuck anything if it's pretty enough  
including your car  
 
I have vague morals  
so don't be surprised if I dine and dash  
on our first date  
fuck all and every capitalist corporation  
 
I'm both intelligent and formally uneducated  
if you wave a fancy degree at me  
it will only get me wet  
if you're an IT or English Lit nerd  
 
Bitcoin aficionado's need not apply  
or anyone who would suck a cock for an iPhone  
I'm android all the way    
 
None of it fucking matters anyway  
I'm already bored  
and odds are I can get myself off  
better than you can  
 
You're better off swiping left  
I really hope you do