deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Wind
As the door to my cell opens
I dont feel the excitement
There's no anticipation of freedom
For so long I have dreamed of this day
Its always been this sort of unachievable goal
The reason to keep pressing forward
Now its here
I step through the threshold and...
Nothing
Just nothing
Theres this whole new world laid out before me
I dont know what to do
Where to go
Who I am
All I have wanted was to leave that cell
Never really thinking about what's next
What is on the other side
As if my release would be some magical transition into hopes and dreams
Yet here I stand with this vastness laid out before me
There's so much emptiness
For all its negative effects, the darkness felt safe
It was reliable
It was me
Now I am nobody
I feel out of place
Like a tourist
Marveling at all the sights and sounds
The sun shining
The birds chirping
The wind on my skin
The way the leaves blow in the breeze
I find myself getting caught up in these little things
These meaningless things
They don't matter
Its all just distraction
Not worthy of attention
Not worthy of focus
Mundane
I dont know how to stop and smell the roses
I dont want to learn
It feels fake
Surface level nonsense
But I like the way the wind feels against my skin
And I hate that
I hate that for years I have let the world crumble around me
That there is so much work to be done
So much that needs to be repaired
While I sit and think about the wind
The crispness
The way it brushes against my skin ever so softly
How it makes me feel connected to this planet
Connected to the animals and people
This invisible force that manipulates the world around me in visible ways
Im lost, empty and without an identity
While I sit here thinking about the fucking wind
I dont feel the excitement
There's no anticipation of freedom
For so long I have dreamed of this day
Its always been this sort of unachievable goal
The reason to keep pressing forward
Now its here
I step through the threshold and...
Nothing
Just nothing
Theres this whole new world laid out before me
I dont know what to do
Where to go
Who I am
All I have wanted was to leave that cell
Never really thinking about what's next
What is on the other side
As if my release would be some magical transition into hopes and dreams
Yet here I stand with this vastness laid out before me
There's so much emptiness
For all its negative effects, the darkness felt safe
It was reliable
It was me
Now I am nobody
I feel out of place
Like a tourist
Marveling at all the sights and sounds
The sun shining
The birds chirping
The wind on my skin
The way the leaves blow in the breeze
I find myself getting caught up in these little things
These meaningless things
They don't matter
Its all just distraction
Not worthy of attention
Not worthy of focus
Mundane
I dont know how to stop and smell the roses
I dont want to learn
It feels fake
Surface level nonsense
But I like the way the wind feels against my skin
And I hate that
I hate that for years I have let the world crumble around me
That there is so much work to be done
So much that needs to be repaired
While I sit and think about the wind
The crispness
The way it brushes against my skin ever so softly
How it makes me feel connected to this planet
Connected to the animals and people
This invisible force that manipulates the world around me in visible ways
Im lost, empty and without an identity
While I sit here thinking about the fucking wind
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