Forgiveness

All I  want to do is sleep anymore.
I curl up on the couch with my pillow, which is a stuffed bear I've had for ten years, he fits my neck perfectly. He needs a wash and new stuffing quite frankly, to once again engorge his once plump belly like a bear should have.
But he is as tired as I am and showing his age as well.  
 
Everyone picks on me, oh there's mom, sleeping with her stuffed animal.  
Yes, I sleep on the couch so I can watch over the house from a clear vantage point.
Everything about that day changed me.
Ironically though, it not only changed me in the irrational fear sense, but it also taught me as much as it took from me.
That day taught me that tomorrow is not promised, and we should love like today is our last, and that who we are when we die is who we leave behind for a memory to those that are left here...to grieve or sigh relief.
 
That day taught me that simplicity is the most beautiful aspect of life.  
God
Family
A home
A garden
Animals
Even a hundred and ten year old house is priceless in comparison to a home filled with empty rooms and no one to stoke the fire for.
Or cook for or wash clothes for.
My children have offered to buy me a front load washer, to which I decline with a full heart. A full heart because here's my babies, trying to make moms life easier.
They just don't know, I love this way of life.  
I begged for this wringer washer.  
The clothes just come out cleaner.  
So when placed on the line, it makes this house feel like home.  
Like grandmas house always did.  
The Bible says if you love your life you will lose it.
In a sense, it feels like I lost mine that day and in return, I've learned there's no greater love than to love others lives more than our own. In the simple way, in the right way.