Hyacinth #2

Dear Hyacinth
 
You were conceived in misery,
To the best of my memory.
To cure a gutless appetite  
The weeks goes by
And so does the pages in my book
I'm drawn to the conclusion
We are far from over
West to my corner
Laid in frailty
The air conditioner broke
Is the last gasp of air snuffed out of my lungs
Sobriety's never seen the back of my eyelids
I'm creeping out in private
I'm creeping out in desolation
Dumb boy
Who can't hear much filth
Dumb boy
This isn't bittersweet
The hues are tinted bitter grey
This sense of deprivation has left me
The pain in these walls are palpable
Nightmares never ceases to go away
The cloud's deluded
Where I snuggle myself in blankets
And try to hide from the world.
Can't come back from hurt
I cannot heal from.