an actor i knew

An actor I knew

I saw him sitting alone in the dining room 
of a small hotel, drinking brandy with coke
his handsome face was bloated, and he was
deep in his cups
I told him of the Humblebee story when 
he played Schultz, and he chuckled 
he was a man in agony drinking had 
become relentless, whatever reasons 
he drank, but the hurt didn't go away
he had lost his wife to cancer and thought
of killing himself, as a trained counselor 
I knew better than to give advice
 on how to stop drinking  
His girlfriend came, had been in the bar
playing pool, a woman with a fake smile
was driving him home to his cottage
she, also when the actor was away looking
after the cottage
The last time I saw him, he was struggling to 
walk up a hilly road, I drove to his home
again, he mentioned suicide.
I said, no, my friend, you have to live and
suffer as the rest of
that was the last time I saw the news
of his death saddened me