Nothingness

She can love and admire but not touch . She can feel deeply but not utter a word . She can lose but she accepts it as if was nothing . At times she has won but you would never tell .She feels way to much and in doing so she can’t feel anything now and she can’t give so she doesn’t take .

It’s an utter nightmare living in the daylight how do you hide well it’s always behind a smile hung on a crucifix of hopelessness. In reality it’s progressive you lose your ability to be or allow yourself the freedom of choice. You see she sees life as two different opponents good or bad , love and hate and darkness and light . She doesn’t want to have to fight to achieve the betterment as you begin to fall through the gaps and eventually your feelings are set in a trap of nothingness.

She is older in her emotions than her life years and she’s afraid to feel love as it’s never stayed to hold her hand when she was desperately lonely and afraid now she doesn’t care because she survived but it cost .She accepts the invitation to live where she believes she belongs in total darkness and not one speck of light and she won’t try to find you know that happy ending she feels she was born a Shakespearean tragedy and that’s alright . She is an apathetic infusion dripping away a life where even when she did fight nothing was right so apathy grows but it’s mighty in its hold and suffocating in all the old stale air but you acclimatise and she sits down and fills up her lungs with smoke .