Out of Control

 
I was young
I was angry
I was completely out of control
I had self-loathe and disgust for myself
I was miserable with the path I chose
 
Unhappiness lead me into depression
And depression into an even darker road
Where ending my life seemed like the only thing to do
But most of all I felt like any day I would simply implode
 
I lied
I cheated
I screamed
Then everything just went quiet
And when I woke up
I thought everything would be ok
So long as I was being compliant
 
Not once
Not twice  
But three times did I jump into the abyss
Feeling trapped I thought I thought of it all
Only to feel more stagnation in the precipice
 
It wasn’t until I sought help did I finally understand
Life is a myriad of ups and downs
Of triumphs and defeats
And if I really wanted to change for the better
The choice was up to me
To take full responsibility
Because I’m one the one in control  
Of my emotions and response