Well.

I've given up
and I'm not sure why it took this long. It's been months. Maybe it was her death or the change of season, regardless something has decided to kill me. My throat is raw and hasn't a croak left. I guess there will be no more late night screaming sessions. My ribs are bruised too and they've got nothing to protect, my heart was defeated long ago. I believe their only purpose now is to shelf my pain. Now I can only wait for my back to cave in or to choke on my tongue in my sleep.
I'm a failure, failed time and time again. The only thing that hasn't failed me is the warmth of my bed.
I think I'll stay a few a months longer.