Yes I want Darsi

Yes I want Darsi
What a cute mischievous creature
Its written in its face




I want art
It is an ancient attraction to it
I emerge into it
But some days
I just need a futile existence
I need to be nothing

Look at this monster
With the ugliest face on earth
Why do not they chase me away from this bar

Everybody is so friendly to me these times
And I smell


Art
I just can not resist that damn fuck.
Writing these verses on my phone
And there's been an earthquake in Greece right now.


I am my own experiment
I am my own creature
I like to observe her
When she dreams
When she walks around

Have you ever wondered how much she ever surprised me in life with her behaviour.


He is what I would have designed.
Not in the human form.
With all the incapabitilies.
With the limited thought.
Distracted every day.
He is what I would have designed if I were God.
A strange God that observes everything he likes.
A sick God.
That does nothing else but observes himself.
And let me tell you.
That is strange.
There is no metaphor.
No earthly word to tell you of that.



Some moments in life are like.
Hell.
Wait.
Where am I.
How on the goddamn earth did I end up here.
Just how.


On the first date I craved him as a friend.
On the second I liked him so much.
And he seemed to not care that much.
And I knew that I risked to get heart broken.
On the third I said to him as we stayed on the table.
You are my creature caught away from the ethereal layers.
Brought here.
This is evil.
On the fifth date,
When I saw the dark roots,
I knew I was fucked.

Thinking about ambition nowdays.
It is confusing.
Some chase truth.
Or do they?
Some chase love.
I know this one.
And some chase earth.

Let me tell you from experience.
It is easy to put away these evils.
On the first date.
As a proposal on the table.
It is impossible to put away these evils,
After you have lived them 10 days.


I often wonder why do I look what I look.
Like I chase silhouettes of my boyfriend on the street.
I disregard mine I have noticed.
I often wonder...
What does he do on the same exact place.


To be a human lover
With this human desire to be seen
To be heard
To be touched
I wondered why he did not touch my breast on the third date
Insulted

Oh
With this desire to share the littlest of thoughts
Even those ones that die on the brain
Because you get distracted
You want him to see them too.

To be human
With this insatiable desire to communicate
To share
To discuss
To tell stories of yours



I will never make up with the tricks and ways of this brain
He is surely more untamed and wilder  than me
Immortal in a poor wretched body
He laughs out loud at my logic

But recently
I have noticed that he also behaves like a little devil
He puts thoughts you do not really think
You do not really believe
Just simply you do not want them
Because it would be the exact thing to make you a weirdo
Just for this reason
For no other reason at all
Just to trick you
Bastard
Little
Devil


I like almond eyes
I caress little boys with them
Like I remember in my memory
A mannequin with almond eyelashes
That is my favorite in the digital directory
I chose a pair of socks with almond shape in the supermarket without knowing the reason
I have craved a boy in high school with them
I have slept with another one
Wrote a poem for him
Now I have a boyfriend with almond eyes
Long shaped
Like the ones taken from a God
And when I look at them I get a fibrilation in my heart
And this is not a metaphor
And when I look at them
I feel I loose ground.

There are things in this earth
That are weirder then weird
Weirder than weird can be for a human
There are things
Complicated
Unshaped
Terrible


Things you could not write on your science fiction book
Even if you were the God of science fiction on earth
A psycho being
That had never lived a day of his life
But dreamed and wrote.