What are we  thinking?

I feel for your plight it's really a common one...this reveals your innermost feelings expression is good 💕

Thanks for your comments and read crimsin, x

“passed” my lips=movement.  
past my lips= doesn’t make sense here

i think you meant “passed”—some form of movement.

“simply”  making

change two words= clearer meaning = stronger poem.  😘

Thank you for your read and help its very much appreciated,
Thank you hettra

i write lousy poetry but am pretty good with language.  tough to know if offering help with english pisses people off or is welcomed.  but —i feel like i should contribute ‘something’ useful if i’m going to hang out here to read.😉

please advise:  should i add the above caveat every time i butt in to someone else's business?  

recommend reinserting “simply” making.  it goes with the flow of those few lines.

I for one really appreciated the time you've taken to point out where I am not writing the correct words as my spelling and english has never been any good,

At the bottom of the poems the writer usually asks for honest criticism has I have done so then yes definitely do has you have with me, if they don't ask for critique then don't, I'm sure that spelling is a apart of the critique so go fill your boots 😊👍🏼

Possibly thinking "surly" instead of "simply"
Also reading back it's much better with the correct use of word's 🤦🏼‍♂️🤣

if you actually were surly, the reader might very well conclude it’s one big reason NOT to commit to a relationship.  

grrrrrr i really wish this site would keep the poem ON the screen instead of erasing all but your last comment.  there are two lines where ‘surly’ really underscores why the relationship isn’t likely to mesh——which is what seems to be on your mind when you wrote this poem.  yes?

changing screens….

about that discontent:  
 
one of you (surly)  
one of you (spewing)  
both living but not loving  
 
ouch.  
yup.  not ‘simple’.    
 
a) when surly, is it vocal or visual?  or both?   that helps find ‘the’ word to paint the picture.  
b) is ‘mad’ crazy or angry?   mad is a good word here.  i’m reading “extremely unpleasant putz”  
rather than “unhinged. duck or head for cover”

All this use of proper english is quite confusing, yet really helpful once I can wrap my head around it, a lot of what I write is quite spontaneous therefore is written down in a rush before I forget, your last comment really is getting me to think a lot, so for that I thank you  😊

how about  
‘SURELY’!! making you sad….  
 
meaning cause ——> & effect.

lastly, the title needs a noun to identify “who” should be thinking.  I, they and we all work.  since you wrote the poem in first person, i recommend “we” because there are TWO people in that poem made miserable by what’s happening between them.….

I've done it thanks, I think I should read a dictionary for the next couple of years now 🤣

YES!!!  poem clear as a bell and f-l-o-w-s…  clarify ‘who’ is to be thinking.  then roll on columbia, roll on!

invest in dictionary and thesaurus…..  both highly useful tools.

Looks like with your help and input it's finished and definitely does flow better thanks 👍🏼