Resigned

The imagination,
both a blessing and a curse,
can be manipulated
to tell a story
that doesn't exist

It is hard to hold the tongue,
to immediately jump on the defense
but if asked to do so
I can only respect that with silence

As a small boy,
the neighbours were convinced
I had snuck into their pool
while away on vacation,
and the funny thing is,
I wasn't even in town
when my reported trespass occurred

From there,
there has been a lifetime of inventions
and accusations,
and being sympathetic
to what is expressed,
(even when false)
It forces me to limit myself.

I don't like the trend
that something in me
brings out severe mistrust
in others.

And of course,
under the scrutiny of another's disappointment
my natural inclination is to disappear (again).

But I'm going to flip the script this time,
on my terms,
because my heart needs a place
where I can be free
and my only true wish
is that we can co-exist together
with love and kindness
even if we can never speak of it again.

In the dating world
there is an ongoing joke
about single, older men past 40.

"What could be wrong with them?"

And I'll confess to you,
"Everything!"