As a cat person

I want
to pet a dog
in a public park
under a flawless sky
on a windy day.

I want to sit
quietly on a bench
as my hair moves in the breeze
and my phone is forgotten

to be
alone with my thoughts
and unafraid to think them,
abandoned with my emotions
and unafraid to feel them,

with nothing in my mind
save the way
this dappled day
passes with ease,

and how lovely it is
to watch someone play ball
with their dog.

I want to be real
in this moment,

so real that a
shaggy retriever
I’ve never met
nudges me with
a ball in his mouth

because I’m there.

Really there.

I want to throw the ball,
and laugh at the whimsy;

lost in a moment in which
I’m not starved
for distraction
during this blip
of time I call my life,

a moment where I engage
with the
meaningful vacuum
of right now
and find it beautiful.

I want
to forgive
those who harmed me
and learn to love them
in a sustainable way,
starting with myself,
and ending there too.

Calendar pages turn
like leaves in this
breezy afternoon
as I sip coffee
under a flawless sky,
watch a dog
chase a ball,
and think

of nothing.