Butterflies in Dust

The half-light of dawn filters into the room, fighting its way through the smoke haze
Its beams are split and re-split into a multitude of rainbows or of Gods and angels
Or any dreams that I want them to be, just as long as they aren't dreams of you                            
Threatened by prospected obscurity, I sit in isolation. Alone. Despised. Rejected.                                                  
I need to remain awake to make these morning-mares disappear. I want to feel life again.
The necessity to feel something, anything, as long it is not your slashing, stabbing slaughter                  
Time yellowed love letters lie scattered, now just a jumble of meaningless words
Your parting letter of apology, tear-stained and starting to tare along the folds,
Reread a thousand times, prodding and poking a festering puss filled sore
The return address is as far away as you could reach, now an oceans separation
I look down at our wedding picture, the glass now shattered within the golden frame                                            
A mocking photo exposing your smiling sham, painful prevarication, leeching out life
I'm searching for the parts of you I adored, as painful as pins pushed under fingernails
Whitewashing over your lies, erasing your mocking smile of ungracious victory
Just the flotsam left strewn in your wake, a broken casualty of butchered love
I pray to the Gods that they should burn my eyes so I don't witness what I've become                            
My words have dried up and died, choking subterfuge turned to strangling silence                                              
A shattered glass, fallen, forgotten, staining everything into a crimson mixture of blood and wine
Wallowing in clinging memories of our past in an attempt to reject your despised duplicity                          
Long dead summer butterflies gather within in the dust of the attic, haunting guards to the    
Memories crammed into a battered suitcase, a wedding dress now crumpled, forgotten                                        
I foolish believed that you promised me forever when we swore our binding wedding bands
How quickly they were forgotten, how easy to replace with silver-tongued flowing deception                  
When accused, your defence was shock and awe attack. Forced into seeking sympathetic sex                

I'm worried that you will no longer dare to hunt Faeries, search for unicorns and magpies
Or chase rainbows with the wind blowing through your hair. Dreaming under the night stars
If we only could have recreate those days before the need to heal the open, weeping wounds
Ignoring the constant bleeding through temporary bandages I still dreamed of a forever after                        
I crawled across the floor, all pride forsaken, you crushed me under razor sharp stilettos                    
Why did I go down on my knees? Only the Gods know. Just an addict for scornful rejection                        
You just couldn't wait to raise your new man in triumphal glory, to fly your new colours
Shackled by your new love, padlocked and chained, abdicating the freedom I granted
I know you how he hates you to keep him waiting You'd better drag yourself off quickly                          
I can't bear to think about you and him, is there no darker hell than this to hide me?                          
I want your new love, your future, to subjugate you to degrading eternal humiliation
Decimated by deceit, I long to see you crash and burn abandoned to cesspit stagnation
I want you down on your knees, begging clemency, pleading to me for exoneration                            

A haunted house without a ghost, a body remains sitting in a vacated chair. Here and gone.
Exit doors beckoning to attract my attention.
Exit from the house...or from life?