deepundergroundpoetry.com
Leaking Breath
I trace with this dulled edge
A gaping mouth
That bleeds with every breath
Suffocated by its self saving attempts
Scabs overbear gurgled screams
I plead to finish seeping out
For the wrong reasons
Isn't it obvious I didn’t press hard enough?
A gaping mouth
That bleeds with every breath
Suffocated by its self saving attempts
Scabs overbear gurgled screams
I plead to finish seeping out
For the wrong reasons
Isn't it obvious I didn’t press hard enough?
Published 26th Nov 2023
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The author encourages honest critique.
6th Dec 2023 5:52am
This is quite expressive, given the variables of metaphor. Are you cutting through someone else's mouth, are they cutting through yours? It could be interpreted from both angles, which is masterful, as you carry the likened disposition. It's as if you see similarities in your victim, or you as a victim, see similarities. Anyway, nice way to experiment and capture something seemingly two-fold. You couldn't press hard enough as the aggressor, or the victim, heh. Thanks for sharing!
8th Dec 2023 8:30am
Thanks a lot! This was about struggling with self harm. In that case, an aggressor and victim of yourself.
